Menstrual cup and how it feels to be understood
For the first time in my 30 years of existence, I had a deep conversation with my vagina.
“Menstrual cup is life-changing.”
“I regret that it took me so long to migrate to a menstrual cup.”
Those are quotes that I found on articles, mens-cup ads, and my friends’ IG stories. But for real, although I have known about the menstrual cup and actually bought one myself 2 years ago, I failed to convince myself to ditch my 35cm pads and experiment with this new ‘technology’.
Don’t talk to me about how environmentally damaging conventional sanitary pads are. Because I am fully loaded with information — for example, according to Menstrual Health Alliance India, one sanitary pad could take 500 to 800 years to decompose as the plastic used is non-biodegradable and can lead to health and environmental hazards. I don’t even want to calculate the numbers of sanitary pads gone into wasteland from my 30 years of existence. The guilt? insufferable. But still, I did not make a move to change my habits.
Not until yesterday during my 3rd day of the period cycle. I starred at my 2-year old never been used menstrual cup which I bought for IDR 300,000 (USD 27). It’s always been there — on my bathroom sink. At that time, I didn’t know where the courage came from but I wanted to try. For real this time. I actually had a big laugh at myself — I claim myself as an independent woman, I have travelled to many countries (mostly solo), I pay my own rental, I excel in my jobs, I help my family to pay for their debts — you name it. But still, I didn’t have the courage to insert the menstrual cup into my vagina.
The reason is, I don’t know much about her (my vagina). I thought I know, but I was wrong. When I realised, I had a minor breakdown. I felt unempowered. I felt like I don’t own my body. Then at that time, I decided to face the inner wolf within me. I re-did my research online on the menstrual cup, the best technique to insert and take them off, also watched videos for encouragement. I also ordered a water-based lubricant, sent on the same day. I was determined.
Long story short, after I took extra care to sanitise the cup. I was on my bathroom floor — tried to insert the cup myself, first trial, second trial, no kidding I hypnotised myself to think about nice things like clouds, blue sky, a good bowl of noodle, to help me relax. After the third trial with a help of lubricant, poof! It’s there! I tried to adjust the position for much better comfort and after I felt relaxed.
I had the biggest grin on my face. I actually almost teared up. I feel empowered. There was a strange kind of warmth that grew from within. I did it. I beat the wolf.
At first, I was quite self-aware of something down there, like putting a vibrator but you go along with your day. However, after a few minutes, I didn’t feel anything — I actually failed to realise that I was on period. I must say, it’s that comfortable! After 5 hours, I checked, rinsed it, and re-inserted the cup — now with much confidence. It passed the leak test.
So here is the final verdict:
1. Do I love it? Yes and yes. I am gonna use it again on my next cycle.
2. Was it a good experience? It took me three attempts to finally put it in place, with a lot amount of lubricant. So not the best, but relaxing your mind and lower body will help. Also, don’t be shy with lubricants!
3. Am I gonna ditch the conventional pads? Yes! I am up to challenge myself. It’s going to be my personal pledge.
As it should, knowing your vagina is very important — you actually will be amazed at how it functions *smirk. For example, I learned that by inserting your finger you can measure the height/depth of your cervix, are they low type, medium, or high cervix. Fascinating? very.
From this whole experience, I feel like I rediscover myself. I rejuvenate my understanding of an empowered woman- the one that can conquer your inner fears, up for challenges, and able to fathom your body.
But I know, when you talk about the menstrual cup you talk about privilege. Privilege on access to clean water, personal hygiene, personal space, money, supportive environment, etc. Easily changing to menscup is not a given. For many women, it’s a battle.. not an easy one. So from this post, I have no intention of blatantly promoting the conversion. Only if you want. Only if you are comfortable and only if you are not under any pressure to do so.
